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Treatment 1

Okay, so, here's my first treatment. The original thought was three pages, but, depending on spacing, this one's at least a solid 2 pages, and I don't see a need to be too strict about length.

Side note: I think I'll start doing the ranking of Loglines on Mondays, as the first day of Treatment-writing.

Anyway, the original logline that I based this off of was:

Years after marrying Prince Charming, Cinderella discovers that she owes a favor to her fairy godmother, and must repay it by killing one of her sidhe rivals.

After working on the treatment, it became something more along the lines of:

Years after marrying Prince Charming, Cinderella discovers that she owes a favor to her fairy godmother, and must repay it by saving Rapunzel from the foreboding Duke Bluebeard.

I just felt like the first one was too trendily grim, and decided to make things a little (a little) more lighthearted. I did want to hearken back to Grimm fairy tales, though, so it's still kind of dark.

Anyway, without further ado...


Cinderella, of the eponymous fairy tale, is enjoying her happily ever after with Prince Charming when her fairy godmother shows up for a visit. Cinderella is thrilled to see her again, and immediately declares a banquet in her honor.
Prince Charming has already been told the story, but the rest of the guests are greatly entertained by hearing how their beloved princess came to know the prince. At the end of the story, Cinderella proclaims that she owes everything she has now to her fairy godmother, and that she could never possibly repay the debt she owes.
The fairy godmother demurely protests, and says she knows how Cinderella could repay her in full: simply go visit the fairy godmother’s daughter, Rapunzel, and ensure she’s happy with her new husband, Duke Bluebeard. Cinderella resists, saying that can’t be enough, but when her godmother insists, she obviously can’t say no to so simple a task.
She and Prince Charming immediately begin preparations. Because Fairy Godmother doesn’t want Rapunzel to know that she’s checking up on her, they come up with the ruse of Cinderella going on a diplomatic journey to neighboring kingdoms and duchies. Additionally, Fairy Godmother gives Cinderella a handmaiden, Briar Rose, and a magical marionette named Pinocchio to serve as a footman.
Their travels along the way to Castle Bluebeard contain more than a few troubling rumors about Duke Bluebeard. Supposedly, he’s had many wives, all of whom disappeared mysteriously after no more than a year. When Pinocchio voices the thought that maybe that’s why Fairy Godmother wanted them to check on her, Briar says that’s exactly the idea. Pinocchio is a little irritated that she didn’t tell them that upfront, but Cinderella tells him that she must’ve had her reasons.
Briar explains her reasons: Fairy Godmother can only help people fulfill their wishes. That’s why she had to bait Cinderella into wishing to help her, and why she didn’t want to do anything to compromise Cinderella’s desire to do so. Pinocchio explains that he wishes to be a real boy and that the Fairy Godmother told him the only way to do that is to be good and to help people, so he’s helping her and Rapunzel. Briar then reveals that she’s the Fairy Godmother’s apprentice, and so she wants to help her in any way she can. She also tells them that Rapunzel wanted Fairy Godmother to leave her alone, and so that’s why she can’t do anything personally; she can’t even get within miles of Castle Bluebeard.
They arrive at Castle Bluebeard, fearing the worst, but Rapunzel herself leads the welcoming committee in Duke Bluebeard’s place; in fact, he’s not even there. She throws a banquet for them, trying her hardest to be a good host in her husband’s place. She tells them about her past, how she doesn’t have much social experience because her mother kept her isolated from the world, but that Duke Bluebeard found her and taught her about the outside world. She fell in love with him, and he took her away to live with him at his Castle.
She tells them that this is her first time running things without her, and that he entrusted her with the runnings of everything in the castle. Briar pries, saying surely there are some things he’s kept from her - she tries to cover the question by pretending that she’s saying Bluebeard wouldn’t expect her to have to run everything personally, but she makes it reasonably clear she doesn’t trust Bluebeard.
That angers Rapunzel, who tells them that he entrusted her with everything, even his secrets: he asked her not to go through one door, but gave her the key anyway. That obviously piques everyone’s attention, but when they get a moment alone to talk amongst themselves, they decide that surely, if he had any secrets worth hiding, he wouldn’t have given her the key. Briar is the only one who thinks they should investigate, but seems to bend to the group’s will.
However, after the group separates, she convinces Pinocchio that, surely, Bluebeard wouldn’t have given her the key if she wasn’t meant to use it. And besides, they’re just looking out for Rapunzel; how could Bluebeard get mad at that?
So Pinocchio sneaks off with the key and checks out the room. In it, he finds the bones of all of Duke Bluebeard’s previous wives. He freaks out, and runs to get everyone else, only to find them talking with Bluebeard himself, who’s back early. He manages to convince everyone else to distract the Duke while he shows Rapunzel the room.
When Rapunzel realizes where they’re going, she resists, and Pinocchio lets it slip that they’re there because Fairy Godmother wanted them to check on her. She freaks out, drawing Bluebeard’s attention. He arrives, the others close behind, just as Pinocchio opens the door to try to force Rapunzel to look inside. Bluebeard thinks she went in of her own accord, and regretfully starts trying to kill them all.
Briar tries to magic him, but it turns out he’s a fairy too, and he’s familiar with her curse. He rips the needle off of a spinning wheel and pricks her, and she collapses. They lock themselves in a tower, which Bluebeard starts trying to break into. Cinderella tells Rapunzel to call out to Fairy Godmother, because right now she can’t help. Rapunzel calls, but nothing happens.
Bluebeard breaks in, carrying a headsman’s axe. Pinocchio jumps in front of Bluebeard, but Bluebeard swats him aside, and he splinters. Bluebeard’s about to start hacking into them when Fairy Godmother arrives just in time to put him to sleep. There’s a tearful reunion. She tells them she’ll deal with Bluebeard, and they should take Rapunzel out of there.
They go to see to Pinocchio, and beneath all the splinters and woodchips they find a real boy. Rapunzel goes to live with Cinderella, where she can meet people and dance, and Fairy Godmother admits that it’s time she let Rapunzel be on her own. Besides, she needs to set things up for Briar Rose’s slumber and then watch over her for the next century.