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Ranking Loglines 21-25

I think it's interesting that three of the loglines this week are about big mysteries. It's probably from what I've been watching - Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I really enjoyed it. Very sinister; Lovecraftian horror, almost, if that word wasn't associated with tentacles. I think I like the sense of the unknown that a lot of horrors and thrillers have. And anyway, that comes out in these loglines.

Of the two outliers, one is only kind of an outlier; logline 22 could also be about the unknown, and doubt, if you made it to be. The other is kind of riding off of my fantasy kick from last week. So yeah, I guess I go in themes.


Logline 21Years after a pregnant woman is publicly taken away by aliens, the aliens return the woman's young daughter to her father, with no explanation. The man struggles to give his daughter a normal life amid the popularity, fear, and men in black that surround her everywhere she goes, as she tries to figure out what the aliens wanted - and still might want.
Logline 22When a lone monster hunter is infected with Shadow, he knows he only has a limited time to train a replacement that will be able to kill him when he turns.
Logline 23After stopping a petty supervillain, an aging, retired superhero tries to guide the young super into heroics rather than villainy.
Logline 24In the near future, after a mysterious object falls from space, people near the impact start having visions - some mundane, some of widespread destruction. When the minor visions start coming true, mankind needs to decide if the destruction is fated to occur.
Logline 25A manned mission sent to explore the edges of the observable universe finds a primitive human colony, farther away than it should be possible for them to be. When their ship breaks down in orbit, they're forced to solve the mystery in order to return home.

Logline 21 is long. Like, too long, really, I should've trimmed it. A good way to do that would've been to focus on either the father or the daughter, but not both. As written, this comes across as a two-protagonist piece, which is bad.

Other than all that: the mental picture is obviously above average given the length, but irony is lacking. A low budget seems likely, though, so that's nice.

Logline 22 probably shouldn't have the "knows he only." Otherwise, there's solid irony, and an okay mental picture - though it'd be nice if it could give more of an idea of what sorts of monsters a monster hunter hunts. The "infected with Shadow" is a good jumping off point, but I don't know if it's quite enough. But then again, it's a logline. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

For some reason, I really like the idea of old, retired superheroes. If I wanted to, I could probably come up with a couple weeks' worth of ideas solely having to do with them. Expect to see that idea show up again in the future. But yeah, Logline 23 has a good mental picture, and if you ask me, fantastic irony, but that's largely because I'm picturing, like, a Golden Age hero who's almost more about beating villains than saving people. Probably a low budget, too, but that could very well not be the case.

Logline 24 suffers from lacking a clear protagonist (25 does too, but not as much as 24). I wasn't sure how to fit one into that idea, though. What I guess I should've done was make it be about a scientist, or heck, the President, making the decisions. The lack of protagonist restricts the mental picture and the potential irony.

Logline 25 does better than 24 because it's a more limited crew, who all have a lot more in common (than ALL OF MANKIND in 24. Funny how that works). Good mental picture, but irony is lacking. I guess you could say there's a little in a scientific mission getting confused instead of gathering information, but I dunno. Budget is probably on the lower end, at least.

 - Teddy