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Ranking Loglines 26-30

So, in case you hadn't noticed, I've been trying to set written and set up ahead of time so I can have scheduled releases (like stuff posting at midnight), but it hasn't always been working. Well, it's been working fine technically speaking, I'm just having trouble remembering all the things I'm supposed to do, and putting in the wrong times, stuff like that. So that's why you're getting some posts showing up blank at first, some showing up early, some showing up late. I'll get it all figured out sooner or later.

Anyway, this week's loglines were revolution themed, apparently. I like revolution movies, generally speaking, probably because of the scope. Movies about a scrappy rebellion are usually simultaneously massive in scope, and deeply personal; and it's really easy to play those off of each other.

For an easy example, there's Return of the Jedi, which is about Luke trying to redeem his father, and also save the entire galaxy from tyranny. But then he's forced to make a choice between the two, and we get some added depth to his character as we see which one he chooses, and why.

But enough about generalities and themes! Let's get to the loglines.


Logline 26A fey noble kidnaps a human child to raise as a weapon in the fairy courts. But as the child ages, she develops even grander aspirations than her adopted mother: to become a fairy queen herself.
Logline 27In a future where music can be used as a weapon, when a tyrannical middle eastern government outlaws music for fear of revolution, a small indie band that just wants to be able to play music finds themselves accidentally leading that revolution.
Logline 28In a future where the entire world is controlled by only two, constantly warring supercountries, a young scientist develops a weapon that could end the war - but rather than give it to her country, wants to use it to establish her own.
Logline 29After a brutal coup on a colony ship, the two children of the former captain are the only ones who can use the DNA-keyed controls. They find themselves hunted by, and soon leading, both the old guard, and the new government, against each other.
Logline 30In a world with supervillains but no superheroes, the sergeant of an anti-supervillain military squad is put in charge of rehabilitating a captured supervillain into a hero.

Logline 26, and pretty much everything fey-related that I think of, is either heavily influenced by Jim Butcher's excellent Dresden Files novels, or else I have to be deliberately trying to do something different. His descriptions of the fairy courts have basically become my standard for fairies, not unlike how the Lord of the Rings established the standard fantasy setting of the modern era. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but it is something I try to keep in mind, so I don't make any accidental mistakes. Deliberate mistakes are okay, because they're easy to fix in the future, but accidental mistakes are harder to change.

Anyway, as for the logline itself, I think it's solid. It's got obvious irony, and a solid mental picture. The main way I think it could be better is if I was able to give some idea of the time period in the logline. Like, is this happening in the modern era? Medieval? Industrial revolution? While none of those would have to have a massive impact on the story, they certainly could be used, so it'd be nice to imply that with my word choices. Like, "A fey noble kidnaps a young princess," or something.

Logline 27 is based on my latest finished screenplay, War of the Bands. I should probably post that up here sometime. Anyway, this is clearly inspired by the Arab Spring, and the crazy stuff happening even now, like governments blocking access to Twitter because revolutionaries have used it to organize. That comes across pretty clearly, I think, so we've got a good mental picture. Irony is good, too, given that the government creates the leaders of the revolution in their attempt to stop it. Budget is, again, pretty high, though.

Logline 28 really intrigues me. I know it's kind of a weird thing for the guy who came up with the idea to say, but I'm really curious as to what's motivating that scientist. Which, I think, is fantastic. That's the mark of a great logline. This might be the best one I've written, rating metrics be damned. It also might not be, and I might just be full of myself.

Logline 29 is... I don't want to say boring, because it's not. But especially coming right after 28 like that, it just doesn't hook me. I feel like I've seen it before. So whatever, irony is fine with brother against brother, mental picture is solid, but I don't really care for it.

Logline 30 is similar, but this one might just be because it's similar to some of my other superhero story ideas. But probably not. This is another story we've seen a lot, mainly because it's a good one. But it's not terribly creative. The originality would have to come out in the setting, which I think could fix all the problems the logline has in that regard. But as a logline, it's weaker.

As for which one I'm writing this week's treatment about... I would really like to do 27, and maybe I will in the future, but in case it wasn't obvious, I think I have to go with 28. Which kind of sucks, because that means I have to figure it all out (which is work; writing cliches that we already know everything about is easy). But I think it'll be fun work.

 - Teddy