Skip to main content

3-Page Treatment 17 - Exit Stage Left

I'm not going to sugarcoat this: This treatment sucks.

I took on some temp work this week,  but even though it's temporary, it's full-time, and so I just plain didn't put in the time this treatment needed. I really wanted to not post it, but that would ruin the entire point of this blog, so.

I'll be working full-time next week, too, but after a treatment like this, you can be certain that I'll be putting devoting more off-time to writing next week's treatment.

It's sad, too, because I feel like this one could be really fun with more effort. Oh well. Hopefully I'll read this in a couple days and realize it's not as bad as my sleep-addled brain is telling me it is! Right? Right?

For reference, the logline:
After being dropped by her agent and kicked out of her apartment, a wannabe actress takes a job as a hitman, and turns out to be pretty good at it.


Exit Stage Left


Haley Killmaster is a 29-year-old actress living in LA, sitting in a dozen waiting rooms waiting to audition for a dozen parts. She’s confident and collected, and gives a dozen killer performances - she really nails it. The directors are wowed, but she’s too popular a face around town - the character in the short is a nobody, and so he’d really rather cast a nobody actress. Or the budget for the film isn’t high enough for her. Or whatever - she’s just overqualified. She blows them all off - if they don’t want her, they can just say so. They’re not going to hurt her feelings. She storms off.

As she walks home, she calls friends, asking if she can stay with them. She’s not sure exactly, but it shouldn’t be too long - just long enough for her to get a little work so she can get her own place again. She doesn’t get any yeses.

When she gets home, all of her stuff is sitting out with the trash. She runs to the landlady’s apartment, and begs for a couple more days. But the landlady says she knows she’s lying about not being able to pay - her movie made, like, a million dollars. Haley’s confused - no, her movie bombed. The landlady shows her the wikipedia page - the movie made a hair over a million on a $50k budget.

She goes to see her agent, Kevin. She’s confused; he said the movie didn’t do well and the director didn’t have enough to pay them. He tells her there was a lot of confusion about things, and he got ripped off more than she did - but she presses the issue, asking him where her money is. She just got kicked out of her apartment, and he’s driving a new car. Where’s her money? He gets a little touchy and tells her she’s welcome to stay with him for a while, but they’re interrupted by his ex-wife, Nada. Nada tells Haley that she’s not the first actor he’s screwed over - or tried to screw - and offers to let Haley stay with her for a while.

Kevin rants and raves at them both, and swears to Haley that if she leaves with Nada, or hassles him over money, he’ll make sure she never works again. She leaves anyway.

Nada instructs Haley in how to get all the free drinks she needs to get over it. They get dressed up as nice as they can and go to a classy-ass bar to scum free drinks off of old dudes. Haley meets a rock star named Ivan.  Haley convinces him she’s filthy rich and they hit it off. She gives him her number, even though Nada warns against it.

Ivan calls a few days later, inviting Haley to some super-fancy charity gala with $5,000 plates. She comes up with some excuse, then complains to Nada about it.

Nada tells Haley that she could give her a job - killing Kevin. Haley laughs, but Nada assures her she’s super serious. And she’s willing to pay $100k. Haley’s not sure, but Nada assures her - nobody who deserves to live has anybody who’s willing to pay that much money to kill them. Nada even offers her a gun to use.

Haley takes the job. She doesn’t do anything fancy - there’s no trickery, no deceit, no sneaking. The only thing she does is wear a wig and three extra shirts so she looks different. She walks into his office, shoots him, and walks out.

Haley calls up Ivan to celebrate, though she can’t exactly tell him why they’re celebrating. She concocts some elaborate story about why she has money that he doesn’t quite believe, but she’s treating him, so he doesn’t press too hard.

They hang out a few more times. It starts putting a dent in Haleys money, fast.

Nada tells Haley that if she wants to make another hundred grand, she knows someone who wants someone else murdered. Haley takes her up on it. The target is an angry old woman a few hours out of LA. Haley poses as a door-to-door saleswoman to get inside, but the woman yells and screams at her, drawing a lot of attention. She forces her way inside, then pins the old woman to the ground and strangles her.

She burns the house down and sneaks away.

Haley watches the news fervently. She sees a report that the old woman died in a fire, with no mention of Haley. She relaxes.

As Haley burns through that $100k, she starts asking Nada if anyone else needs a hitman. Because, you know, she’s available. Nada feels around, and she and Haley start working together as middleman and hitman.

Things with Ivan start getting more serious, and he starts pressing about where her money comes from. He can’t imagine why she’d hide what she does, and it’s starting to be a wedge between them. As they’re enjoying a classy dinner, she gets a call from Nada - the police are closing in on them, and looking for her. She needs to get to the airport, now. She looks around and sees some detectives talking with the maitre d.

She convinces Ivan to help her sneak out, but once they’re out, he forces her to admit that she’s a hitman. Well, hitwoman. Hitperson? He freaks out at her. He tells her that was the only help she’ll ever get from him; if he sees her again, he’s turning her in. She takes a cab to the airport.

Haley and Nada fly to Europe and live things up around the continent, bouncing from country to country to avoid the police. Things are good, except that Haley is kind of bummed and doesn’t do much of anything other than kill people. Nada tries to convince her to cut loose and live a little, but she won’t have any of it.

Ivan goes on a European tour, and Haley arranges things so that she and Nada are always in the same country as him, and usually at the same hotel, but she always avoids him. That is, until she comes back to her hotel room to find it ransacked and Nada being arrested. Haley barely makes it away, and runs to his hotel room. He agrees to hide her, and tells her to stay put while he takes care of the police.

When he comes back, he’s bringing the police with him. He points her out to them, then walks away as she’s arrested.