Depth and motivation

Things are progressing slower than I'd intended without the structure of a schedule, but they are progressing. I've finished drafts of The Destroyer and Messiah that I guess I'll upload now, I'm halfway through the second draft of To Live For, 30 pages into Psicop, and 9 pages into a page 1 rewrite of Shadows. That's what I want to talk about.

I'm having trouble working on both of those screenplays, and I'm not sure why, but when I compare and contrast them and the other three, I can't help but wonder if they're a little shallower than my other work. Not that my other stuff is necessarily "deep," but these two definitely aren't, and I think it's hurting my work ethic where they're concerned.

It's worth remembering I only wrote Shadows at all because I was blowing through it in a week. It was a challenge more than a project. And Psicop I've barely gotten past the first act, if even.

I've been watching a little video series on procrastination, and a big thing it talks about is motivation. You need to have enough motivation to work on a project if you want to overcome procrastination. Otherwise, why are you working on it at all? So with that in mind, I'm starting to wonder if part of my motivation isn't to be a Good Writer, whatever that means.

I know this sounds, like, "Duh, why wouldn't you want to be a good writer?" But I'm saying, I think that's, like, my goal. Not necessarily to be a Successful Writer (though man, I definitely do want that), but to be Good. 

Which probably still sounds obvious, but I guess I just understand it on a deeper level than I did a week ago. 

But okay, suppose I accept that. Where does that leave me re: Shadows and Psicop? It's not too late to just ditch Psicop, but that's not ideal, and I've put too much work into Shadows for that to be an option there. I guess I need to go through at least Shadows and find some depth to it, if I can. I'm not sure what I'll do if I can't. Maybe I will scrap it, but more likely I'll cannibalize at least some elements.

Psicop... I don't want to ditch it. I've already put a lot of assumptions on it, and without it, I'm not really working on any first drafts at the moment. Although, I guess Shadows may change a lot, and we'll see what it looks like then.

So that's what we'll do, I guess. Psicop is shelved for the time being, pending a reevaluation of Shadows. If Shadows winds up similar enough to its previous incarnation, I'll take Psicop off the shelf. If it's different enough, I'll bin Psicop instead.